For the last few weeks I’d say my stress level has risen, and my energy level has plummeted. They also play off each other as well, so the lower my energy level gets, the more stress I experience. I’m one of those that the more stress I have, the more anxiety I suffer from. All of it is exhausting, which makes my energy level even lower. It’s a very vicious cycle.
After all of this I have finally hit my breaking point. I can’t keep cycling around in circles and hoping to recover. I’m not getting much sleep at night because my dreams are insanely vivid, and I wake up thinking I’ve done all these things only to find out I’ve been in some form of sleep. This type of dreaming also means I wake up just as tired as I went to bed, and I’m sore. When my anxiety hits these levels my body goes through these muscle spasms that means even in sleep I stretch and stretch and stretch until I pull muscles, waking to feel physical weak and exhausted. It means the lines between my reality and my dreams are too blurred to desipher which is which sometimes.
All of this plays a role in my productivity for the day. I am completely zombified most of the day. I can’t focus, and I don’t get any real work done.
Now, this isn’t exactly me complaining about all of this. It is me explaining the steps my body goes through when I’ve hit the breaking point mentally, and how it transcribes into physical issues. I can recover from all of this, and get myself back on track. I’ve done it many times, but it means I have to lay low and recharge. This isn’t the worst episode of this that I’ve experienced either, but I’ve learned over the years how to handle them better, and when to spot them coming. I’m also aware that I’m the one that caused this one. I knew it was coming, and instead of taking the self care I needed to prevent it, I kept pushing my brain to do more, and pressuring myself. This is the result of that.
I will get myself back on track, and my work where I want it to be. Until then.
Remember, L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or else it isn’t worth doing.