2017 · January

Loss of Reality

Hello, Readers.

There are times when I become so involved in research, learning new techniques with writing, or brainstorming for a book that I loose touch with reality. I’ve found over the last few weeks that this has been happening more and more. I function in reality on a minimal level, just enough to be considered ‘around’, but not to any level where I actually participate much in normal things. It is almost like a lucid state of being. I’m awake, I move around, but mostly I’m lost in my own head.

During these times a phone conversation with me may consist of me mainly sitting there quietly giving small grunts to give the caller the belief that I am listening. Occasionally, I’ll feed them back bits of the conversation or add in a yeah to the mix. Mostly, while I register the conversation my mind is elsewhere and I’m on autopilot.

Upon all of this, I spend more time awake when the house is asleep or lost in my own thoughts when I’m surrounded with people. I’ve even been known to forget to lock the door, which anyone that knows me knows I’m generally anal about such a thing. My house falls into a state of uncleanliness and I disconnect from the world completely.

The slip into such lucid living is slow and unnoticeable at first. Often times while it can be disruptive to everyday life, for the most part, it can be pushed into other categories such sleep disruption, depression, or varied other places. Even I do not recognize it until I’ve been it for so long.

Generally, there is a day, much like today where something changes and I look around me. Not the gaze that I’ve had for days or weeks at this point, but really looking. I take in the fact that the floor needs to be vacuumed, the dishes have gotten backed up, and that I have no memory…no real memory of the last few days.

This time it was due to reading a book on genres that I’m interested in writing. The information so great, that my brain has altered its own state of being to absorb it more fully. During this time I’ve developed races, factions, and a world in which to write in.

However, great all of this will be I can’t help but feel like my family has gotten the bum end of the deal. I’ve spent time around them, but not quality time. I’ve barely been a participant in the world. Our house has fallen into disarray and I’m sure I’ve missed some special times with them.

It’s time now to rejoin the world and work on setting things right once more. While I will continue to gather up the things that I need for my next novel I will be taking a more active role in the world around me. I only hope that the hubby man and daughter can excuse me for my lack of interest in reality for awhile there.

Now, time to start a pot of coffee and get ready for the world around me. Remember L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.

Until next time.

4 thoughts on “Loss of Reality

  1. I feel ya. I have a tendency to set schedules and if I’m off I start at the bottom so I get backed up too. I hope your research went well

  2. I sort of miss the days when I had one foot in reality and the other foot in writer-land. My family complained that I wasn’t completely there, but at least I got some writing done. Now I’m firmly entrenched in reality, but I can’t get into my writing at all. It’s a delicate balance to be able to write and be able to fully participate in the world around us.

    1. It is indeed a very delicate balance. I’m still not very good at it, obviously, but I’ll get there. I’m sorry you’re having a bit of storytelling loss, but you are writing some beautiful poems on your blog.

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