It has been a few days, let me tell you. They weren’t busy days. Not really. They were personally…horrible for me.
I was left with the feeling of being broken and defeated. Writing wasn’t a thing for me any longer and I simply wanted to give up on it all. No more goals or ambitions. They were the worst feelings ever. I felt…hopeless.
If I ever thought my depression took all of it out of me, I have been reminded that there are worse feelings for me. The feeling of completely giving up. I suppose in a sense it was its own depression, but in such a way that I felt hollow and I didn’t care that I did. I went through the movements of life without really caring what happened.
It took me some time, but I managed to gather myself up once more. My determination to live my life on my terms kicked in and I remembered exactly what I’m made of. That gave me the drive to put myself back together. Luckily, this down swing didn’t last too long. At least for the most part. I still feel the edges of it, but it is getting better and better.
Now, that I’m feeling a bit more like me I have work to do. It is time to plot out book 3 in the Treaty of Dragons series. Only this time, I’m not going to do it to the same extent as before. I will leave room to play.
Some of you may be wondering what that means for the romance that I was working on. I still am. It is giving me good practice but it has become more of a fun side project. While work on the third book in the series will be slow in the beginning due to this being such a busy month it will still be progress, so I’m okay with that.
I’m working on being like the hubby man more and I’m trying not to overstress myself. I have my to-do list and I will evaluate myself at the end of a work day to make sure that I feel I’m doing enough…however, considering this takes self-evaluation…which is what gets me into being rough with myself…well, it could be trouble.
So far, I know what each plot line will be about that will run through the novel. Now, I need to break them down into major plot points. Those will be my guides through the novel.
As today has a meeting with my daughter’s college counselor then I need to dig into work. Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.