Hello, Readers and Travelers!
Thanks to the hard work and dedication of Ellie Mack when it came to putting together the map of Thantyr for me. She is currently in the middle of getting a high-resolution image of it to be used in all sort of things such as promotional, here on the blog and in the books. Seriously, it is so amazing to see it come to life in such a way. I’ve found myself more often than not simply staring at the picture of it. Words can’t even explain how tickled I am with the results.
Needless to say, as time goes on and the books become released my blog will be updated to not only reflect it but to give it a look that fits my new fantasy path. I can’t wait until the thoughts in my head about my new blog are made real. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do it without the help of hiring a website person, but I will be doing my best.
Another thought, crossed my mind this morning while I was working in my new planner. Well, in truth this is something that has been plaguing me for some time. I’ve really been sitting down at my desk and putting in a lot of work at the computer. There are some days that I just don’t hit that 5k. However, because my goal every day is that 5k of word count I bully myself about not hitting it.
After talking with the hubby man last night while filling out the review of the day in the planner I was wondering why I’m beating myself up. I am making progress all the same. I’m working hard and I’m truly getting things done, even if it isn’t where I believe I should be.
Not only have I considered changing the way I rank my day as a success or failure but for the first time since I started blogging about the journey I sat and asked myself why I felt I needed to push so hard now. My answers have astonished even me.
I’ve been pushing so hard because I felt a need to prove to myself and others around me that just because I am home all day, it doesn’t mean I’m not working. That the sacrifices that the hubby man and my family make so that I can pursue a career like this aren’t in vain. There have even been comments that it must be great to be me because I can sleep whenever I want.
I know I’m not the only one that faces these sorts of things. Nor am I the only one that applies insane amounts of pressure on myself to meet some imaginary standard I’ve set for myself. When in reality I am working. I’m working harder than I have in a long time.
However, the fact that I’m making progress forward every day, that should be the standard in which I hold myself. Not some astronomical amount that puts my hands at risk of further damage. Nor should I rip myself apart and bully myself when I don’t reach those amounts.
I’m doing an amazing job and I will be releasing several books this year, instead of my one every four or five years. That is something to me. That is progress.
Realizing the why behind the way I treat myself has really opened my eyes. It allows me to shine a light on those dark corners and examine them. Knowing the why of things is half the battle. Now that I do, I can take steps toward getting rid of these ‘stories’ I’ve been running on.
Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.