A while back I commented on how I was going to relieve the pressure from myself. That I believed it was causing me a great deal of stress and in turn, it was making my anxiety worse. However, it has been a few months and I haven’t accomplished a thing.
The relief of pressure has done nothing more than to cause me to not write at all. A small trickle of words would come but they would quickly be discarded. By writing slower I found it gave me more time to scrutinize the work and tear it apart. More often then not, I found that most of what I had written was thrown out.
So, word count in the last few months possibly a few hundred. If even that. It’s sad to me.
I’ve gone from ensuring I’m writing every day, to most days not doing a thing. Has it stopped my anxiety or at least made it more controllable? Not one tiny bit.
This has been something I’ve been thinking about a lot. Not only am I going to move back into writing as close to 5k a day as I can get, because I know I can do it and it feels better to fast draft the first one anyway, but I’m going to change my mentality.
The one thing I’m overly great at doing is thinking about writing, complaining about finding time to write, and as you can see here discussing writing. My downfall? I’m NOT writing.
I’m going to be leaving myself stickies around the house that say shut up and write. Which means if you have time to yap about getting your work done and complaining about not having time to do so…then you have time to be writing.
That is my biggest problem right there. I once prided myself on being a deep thinker and intellectual. Now, I wouldn’t consider myself as either considering that I’ve masked my fears and procrastination under the hood of being analytical and deep.
My thoughts on the way my process works and why it works isn’t helping me one bit. In fact, it is serving to make things so much harder on myself. Instead of putting my focus there, I’m going to sit down, shut up and write. There is absolutely no better method to getting work done then simply doing the dang work.
As for Camp Nano, I had to change the way that I was tracking it. I found trying to track the time spent at the computer was quite hard with the kiddos running about. Instead, I moved it back to word count and found that I’m actually still on track there as well. However, as you can read here. I’m fixing to kick it into high gear and finish this novel.
There is no time like the present to write. It’s a good distraction to the rest of my life. Haha. So, onward and upward I will.
If you find yourself in the same boat as me, just remember the one way to ensure that you finish the project is to stop talking about it and worrying about it, even dissecting the methods in which you are doing it. Now, shut up and get to work.
Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.