2019 · May

Second Guessing, Self Doubt, and Freezing Up

Hello, Readers!

As any of you that have followed this blog for some time have read, I often go back and forth on things. I will often decide one thing and a few days to weeks later, I’ve come up with another plan of attack.

It has been a thing of great frustration for me when it comes to my work. I often times have these ideas on things to work on and if I don’t write with my head down and as quickly as possible, a few days later I’ve come up with something else or that story idea ‘isn’t working’.

I’ve been told that I get in my own way, and while that is accurate I haven’t known what it means nor how to fix it. After reading an article on 17 ways to tell you’re a perfectionist and being able to pinpoint at least fifteen that fit me, it all became clear to me.

While some people use perfectionism as a way to push them to be better, mine is more what they call maladaptive perfectionism. It stops me dead in my tracks. I procrastinate and second guess myself all the time. My production levels can bottom out at zero most of the time, or my onedrive is littered by half-completed story ideas that I decide aren’t working when really it’s just a matter of my own mental space with it.

I’m working on trying to figure out ways to overcome it and no longer allow it to control things, but so far I’m still in the middle of researching all of it. I know one thing is for sure, I need to write up a list of story ideas and put them in order in which they will be finished.

At that point, I need to sit down and just write them. No more letting my brain get in the way. While that sounds easy, I know it will be difficult and will take a lot of work. I won’t shy away from that.

This is something I need to overcome so that I can be productive and truly accomplish the things in which I want to get done. First up, I need to quit reaching for success, a lot like happiness it seems to be elusive. Instead, I need to reach for finishing one book at a time and getting them released. That is a great way to start to get things in order for myself.

Perfect isn’t attainable. Nothing will ever be perfect, but I can make it great in my eyes and that needs to be my focus.

So, now it is time to sit down and write out that list. Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.

2 thoughts on “Second Guessing, Self Doubt, and Freezing Up

  1. Lists help me a lot. I need to clean and organize my office, and reorganize my story notebook. I use a binder with dividers, folders and loose leaf paper. This way i can move things around. I try to keep it simple by genre ( I do three) then ideas and started stories. ) like you I need to just get to writing! Good luck. You are doing awesome!

    1. Thank you. I’m trying, however, I most definitely need to stop second guessing and wasting time always trying to plan when I could accomplish so much more if I just write until a book is finished.

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