Oh my goodness, we had such an amazing visit with family that drove all the way here from Illinois. I have to admit I was sad when they left, but we simply couldn’t keep them here forever. All of my worry that we might not all get along was for nothing. I loved each and every one of them.
The memories we all created while they were here I’ll remember for a very long time. I hope there won’t be another twenty some odd years between visits this time.
Spending the time with them and putting my work off to the side gave me a chance to really put things into perspective and figure things out.
After spending several days of searching for articles about when to know if it was time to quit writing my depression hit an all-time low last night. I spent most of the time up and in tears. I’d really contemplated some rather dark things.
My life hasn’t been my own for a while now and I’m simply not doing okay with essentially handing over my life. Today, I knew I had to talk to someone. If I didn’t, I was afraid of what I was going to do.
So, the hubby man and I sat down to talk for a while. I cried in sadness and in a revelation.
I love my job. I really, really love my job. Writing is like breathing for me. It’s something that I’ve honestly forgotten over the years. Creating people and stories is something I absolutely love and when I don’t let stress wear me down, I do it even when I’m sitting and relaxing.
That revelation has put so many things into perspective for me. I can’t give up my career that I’ve worked so hard for. That isn’t right and mentally it would destroy me. I think the fact that I’ve pushed is so far to the back burner…it has done a number to me already.
I simply can’t keep doing that to myself. My career is important to me on so many levels as well. It’s time that I stand up for it and my own mental health. It is very much needed.
Now, it’s time to dig into work and focus on my next novel. I can’t wait to share more of the details of it with you.
Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing,