2019 · August

Hit a Bump

Hello, Readers!

Yesterday was definitely a bump in my reconnecting with myself, that is for sure. I think it came on in part due to the fact that I hadn’t been sleeping much for a few days. Finally sick of it, I took some Zzzquil to help.

At one thirty that morning, regardless of the medication, my cat decided it was time for me to get up. I sat at my desk for hours, completely groggy and unaware of the passing of time or even the lack of it. I felt out of sorts and yet not quite tired enough to go to sleep.

By the time I felt I could fall back asleep it was time to get my daughter up for school. Luckily for me, the hubby man was working from home as our car was in the shop getting new breaks. So, I drug myself to the bed.

I awoke again at ten that same morning and came back to sit at my desk. This time the gap wasn’t quite as large but when I found myself sitting at my desk, crying because I can’t seem to ever get time to work, I decided to hell with the world, I was going back to sleep.

By the time I finally awoke for the day, and not so much out of want to wake up, but because I knew I was due to babysit I felt a bit more like me. Not a lot, as you see, nothing still got done. Yet, I wasn’t a sobbing mess.

I know one of my biggest things that has destroyed me emotionally, is not being able to push my job to the forefront of my life without taking away from others. There is part of me that says, I’ve paid my dues and I should be able to do that. There is also part of me that says I’ve had more than my fair share of helping hands as I got to where I am at, this time it is my turn to be that help for someone else.

It leaves me in a very confused stated of being. Like a constant argument is occurring all of the time. Eventually, said argument destroys me internally and I go through these downward spirals.

I do seriously miss my writing time. Sure, I have some in the morning, but it is usually extremely interrupted. I need to take that time back, even if it means somehow that I need to go back to working in the bedroom instead of the living room.

Which sucks because my setup for the living room is amazing as it is also my gaming computer, but I need to do something to ensure I get my work time in as well. There has to be some sort of a give somewhere or I fear madness will sink in.

I love my career and what I do, and yet, there are times that it doesn’t feel much like a career but rather a hobby. Not by my choice, but by circumstances. Those are the times depression sinks in.

Tell me, do any of you have creative work you truly love to do? How do you make time for it?

Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.

2 thoughts on “Hit a Bump

  1. Wow, I can relate to this so much. Between work and watching my grandson, I can’t seem to establish a good routine. I do my writing in the living room, which is really the only place I can write. And, yes, I know what you mean about interruptions. When you’re in the living room, people always feel free to ask you questions, or make comments, or whatever. My family doesn’t really see my writing as ‘work’ or a ‘career’ at all. To them, I’m just playing on my computer. I really need to establish a routine or even find a new writing space somewhere in the house.

    You might have hit a snag or two, but writing is still your career. You’re a published author and nothing can change that. A lot of people get derailed in their careers – they get laid off, get passed over for promotions, or have to take long leaves off absences. In my day job, I make less money now than I did 10 years ago, due to family circumstances, job changes, long gaps between jobs, etc. That doesn’t mean I call my accounting job a hobby. Well, writing isn’t a hobby either – for you or for me. If you look up the word “hobby” in the dictionary, it is defined as “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.” A career is defined as “an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress.” (Notice there is no mention of exactly how much time is committed to the career, nor is there any mention of money.) Which word describes your approach to your writing? I know for certain your writing is far more than a hobby. So, don’t worry if you take a leave of absense or go on “vacation” from time to time. It’s still your career.

  2. I can relate as well. You know the circumstances that derailed me and I am fighting hard to get back in my writing saddle again. And trying to get off a second career in crafts. I’m going to have to learn to say no to the free gifts or I’ll never sell my crafts lol. You and I need to chat and see how we can help each other get back to writing. Maybe if we make some online writing”dates” even if it’s an hour or two a day it’s a step forward.

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