I live in a state of perpetually questioning on rather I’m doing the right thing. Am I writing in the right genre for me? Is my process for writing really working for me? And many more questions that are along those same lines.
I constantly get into these cycles of thought. To ‘fix’ these thoughts I begin to watch a lot of videos and read a lot of articles such as ‘how to find the genre you should be writing in’, ‘how your personality type effects the way you work’, and so on and so forth.
This cycle is what I like to call my addiction to thought and question. It always happens when I get a point where I know I should be working once more. I’m ready to take control over my life once more on the surface level, but something on a subconscious level has a total and complete freak out.
Once that happens, this freak out sends me into this cycle of thought patterns that are not productive on any level. Not only can I spend months upon months saying I’m going to write one way and then going back on it, the amount of frustration at such a cycle is insane.
It is an addictive behavior for me. By remaining in this thought pattern then I never have to fear about putting myself out there. After all, I’ll never write and finish anything as long as I remain in this broken record state of being.
That is the logical half of it all. The illogical part is, I know when I start to cycle like this, but it takes me a while to snap myself out of it. I’m working on ways to stream line and break that addiction to thought on such a level.
After all, none of it is actually conducive with where I want to get in life and what I want to do. It merely keeps me in a state of comfort. Almost a comfort in the discomfort.
I can even tell you to the point that fear is the powering factor behind these as well. Taking on the task of writing a book is a commitment for several months, at least. By the time you are finished, you can’t guarantee you have this amazing hit on your hands, but you still put it out there.
I’m working on reminding myself that all I can do is my best. I can write the story that is in my head, edit it until I feel like it is ready for beta readers, and my editor. I can even hire amazing cover artists to dress it up to the best of my ability.
No, it won’t be perfect, because there is no such thing as perfect. It is art. Art is subjective to the reader.
So, now that I’ve noticed the pattern that I’ve been in today, which by the way, was brought on by the fact that I started writing book three, Shifted Magic in the Treaty of Dragon series. I can work on moving past it a little quicker.
I know the genre that works for me. The one that my brain always comes up with. I need to keep pushing and get quicker at moving through these cycles of my writing career, so that I can release more novels for you readers.
It is time to fight the addiction and get back to work.
Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.