2020 · January

In Search of a Folder

Hello, Readers!

My apologies for missing some blogs this week. It has been a crazy week filled with my youngest daughter’s college things, a sick household still, and just general life busyness.

I have to tell you that today, while I was gathering things I needed, I went in search of a folder. As a writer you would think I have plenty of them on hand, but somehow, I just don’t. I’ll have to rectify that as soon as I make it to a store again. Anyway, I digress, upon finding a folder I saw it was filled with random things, so I removed them and quickly thumbed through them.

Low and behold I found some of the most amazing discoveries among that randomness. I discovered two partially written books, both fantasies, no surprise there. One even had a brief summary attached to it.

These things are my absolute favorite to find. It’s like going on a treasure hunt. You can read things that you were writing months or even years ago. You’ll be able to see how much your writing has improved. Not to mention, when you go back to read them it’s like being the actual reader for the first time and visiting a younger you.

Maybe you can remember when you were sitting down to write these particular pieces or you can hear it in your tone of voice among the pages. It doesn’t matter. To me, finding these are magical reminders of why I started this journey so long.

The truth is, I really needed these as well. I’m not sure if I’ll ever go back and finish them, but I can say that I have been reading them, and they aren’t half bad. They have served their purpose of leading me back to my creative core. The whole reason I stepped onto this path.

I have stories to tell. A lot of them, in fact. I’ve got ideas that will finish flying with dragons, to start walking among dreams, there are even airships filled with steampunk pirates plundering for gold. These all live inside of my head, bits and pieces scribbled down on paper or in word to save for later.

I started this journey of being a writer and author long ago. From contributing to my school Pencraft publish to having books of my own out for sale. Somewhere along the way I lost the reason for why I did this.

What did I hope to accomplish? Did I want bestsellers? Awards? Millions of dollars?

I honestly didn’t know the answers and that troubled me for quite some time. The truth of the matter is, I tell stories like I breathe. It comes naturally for me. It’s truly been a gift and a blessing throughout my life. When life got hard growing up, I could always turn to the worlds inside of my head. The people felt so real and vibrant.

I’ve always been much better with my words when I write them then when I’m in person. As an incredibly shy person, I felt like I could describe things better, connect with deeper emotions all by writing.

It gave me a path through the grief both when my father passed and when my mother did. For her and I, it was a way to connect as she was a writer as well. Shoot, writing has even seen me through some really happy times as well.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve forgotten these things. Instead, I’ve turned to video games and movies to numb my brain. I spend a great deal of time scrolling Facebook over and over again or reading news articles. Anything to waste time.

I’ve honestly seen this habit in me for quite sometime, but wasn’t sure how to tackle it. I mean, I said I wanted to write, but I wasn’t actually writing. Sure, sometimes I’d sit at my computer where it is usually quiet in the back office. The longer I sat without words the more the doubt would overwhelm me.

Was I writing in the right genre for me? Would a new genre liven things up once more for me? Where did that old me with all the spunk and tenacity for this career go?

The truth of the matter is, she is still very much a part of me. While we lost touch and life blurred the path between us, every time I find a story piece it is like finding a way back to her.

I truly do love to write. Getting lost in my own thoughts and seeing a different world are a way for me to relax. Even reading used to bring me great joy and I’d quit doing that as much over the last few years.

So, that being said, I can say I’ve reconnected with the real me and found my way home. Now, it’s time to get to work and show you these worlds. I’d love to share them with you.

Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.

4 thoughts on “In Search of a Folder

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