2020 · January

Changing the Tape

Hello, Readers!

The last few days have been hard for me energy wise. This last weekend I stepped off my diet while away in Cedar City even though I’d packed the things we needed to remain on it. I’m really not sure that the food we ate was worth it either.

However, that being said, I can’t go back and change it. No matter how much I wish I could now. Today, I decided to see how much damage I had done by doing that. Plus, it was time to weigh in anyway.

Sadly, I didn’t even lose a pound. I did lose, though. This sent me into a negative spiral and I vowed that I wouldn’t quit. I had a minor setback that I did to myself, but it has left me more determined to remain on track now.

That being said, I have to admit I sat down at my desk and told me how much I failed myself by doing what I did. That I won’t reach my goals because I keep sabotaging myself. I continued to bash myself, feeling lower and lower.

It took me some time to realize the tape that played in my head wasn’t the truth. It wasn’t MY truth. The voice on the tape told lies. They tried to convince me that all the hard work I’d been doing was for naught and that I’d never get there so I might as well quit.

Once I realized the tape that played I could hit the stop button. I knew better. In fact, I’ve been working hard over the last few years to notice these things and stop them before they go too far. While I wasn’t quite as quick with this one I did manage to stop it.

There is no doubt that I will get there. I have only had a minor setback and I’m back on track now. This was a lesson I needed to learn, so that I did not repeat it. As it is, I can’t change the past. I can only learn from it and move on.

This includes so many areas of my life, including my writing. I spend a lot of time setting this large lofty goals for myself when it comes to writing and I often unconsciously tear them apart before I can even really get started. I set this lofty goal of writing 5,000 words a day. While it is extremely possible and I have done it before, but it was under different circumstances.

Yesterday, I wrote 3,000 words and I had began to tear myself apart for not finishing off the last two. I mean it would have only taken me another hour and a half. That being said, I had to realize the tape that played in my head and stop it. 3,000 is still a lot of words and a good deal more than I have written in the past, so I stopped, took a breather and celebrated the 3,000 I had down.

Sometimes if we don’t pay attention the voice in our heads can bully us and be quite cruel. We need to celebrate the milestones, even the little ones and be proud of where we have come from. There is nothing wrong with having goals, but we will slip along the way. If we push ourselves down further after such a slip, then we will never want to try again.

So, I may have lost only .8 lbs in a week, but I will fix that and do much better next week. As for my writing. I wrote 3,000 words in a day. I’m really getting there with this book and that is something to be proud of.

Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.

One thought on “Changing the Tape

  1. Your doing Amazing. Losing weight is such a struggle. I need to get back at it again myself.
    3000 words is super. You should e proud.

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