For a long time I haven’t felt like myself. In fact, it had gotten so bad that often times I’d look in the mirror and wonder who in the world was looking back. I don’t mean that in a multipersonality type of thing, but if I’m honest, there were times it felt a lot like that.
Over the course of my life, like most people, I spent time being bullied for everything. From what I looked like, to what I believed and so on. I’m sure, that a lot of you can understand all of that. It is a pretty common place thing these days.
Due to these things, I hid a lot of myself behind closed doors. I haven’t allowed people to see me as me, and I’ve actually been ashamed about these pieces of me. I mean, after all, these things make me a lot different than those around me, therefore they have to be bad, right?
Wrong. However, it has taken me until well into my adult life to finally be comfortable with all of the pieces. It has been great to pick up meditation once more and really become whole once more. For me, meditation allows me to really focus on healing myself internally, to rid myself of the shame that was never my actual beliefs.
During this whole process I’ve regained my ability to feel self confident in who I am and the things I want out of life. While I’m still continuing to go on the journey, it feels great to finally feel like I’m doing so as a whole, instead of fragmented pieces of myself.
I know what I’m capable of, and that has been something that I kept saying felt like it was missing. Like I’d lost a real piece of myself that allowed me to take charge and move in a direction in life that I knew was my path.
So, here is to feeling like myself as a whole once more and to see where this journey will lead me now.
Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.