Happy Friday, Readers! Okay, that doesn’t carry the glory it once did. My entire family is home every day, so they all feel like the same day here in my house, don’t know about you.
Anyway, I have been doing a lot of meditating, sorting things out, and really working on me. This time I chose a different approach to it. I didn’t research a bunch of self help books, but rather found binaural beats, guided meditations, and that sort of a thing. I wanted to focus on healing and removing negative blocks from myself, not ‘fixing’ anything.
The amount of things that has changed in my life is crazy. I feel more at peace with who I am and where I’m headed in the future.
Upon that, it has done wonders for my writing career. I’ve felt more reconnected with myself in a way that I haven’t felt in years. I’m finally happy with who I am again.
It’s been amazing on how much that has helped my writing as well. When I first sat down to write my book, Creatures of the Damned, I didn’t know what I was doing. Not really. It was glorious, though. I swear I heard Lynx sitting beside me, telling me his story. Like a whole Interview with a Vampire type of thing.
The fact that he’d become so real to me, even though he was a conjuring of my imagination, made it so much easier to write that book. I knew the way he’d react and the things he’d say to certain situations. I lived for and loved that book.
The amount of energy I had to sit down and write every day, not to mention the amount of time I could sit and spend in his world, amazed me. When I got ready to release that novel I spent a lot of time around other authors. Ones that didn’t necessarily share my views on writing.
In fact, I heard a lot of not being ridiculous about hearing your characters talking to you. That you controlled everything, so stop acting like that. All of these things made me cower away from the way my imagination and I connected. It built a wall I couldn’t get around to reconnect with my imagination in such a way.
Granted, it wasn’t their fault. If I’d been confident in myself and my mental processes, there wouldn’t have been anything they could have said that would have changed my thoughts. I wasn’t, though. I thought maybe I was strange or doing things wrong. That if I wanted to be a professional, I had to quit.
The more I tried to remain ‘in control’ of my imagination, that I did research to figure out how to write faster, and how to keep a plot from sagging the more blocks I piled onto that wall. It became so insurmountable to me that while I’ve continued to write, it hasn’t held the same freedom, energy, and passion for me it once had.
In fact, I’ve contemplated quitting writing and returning to a 9 to 5 more often than not.
Now, that being said, the work I’ve been doing to help boost my confidence, meditation to reconnect with my inner self, and that music has helped immensely. I really feel so much more like myself.
Today, when I got up to work, things really clicked into place for me. Especially after reading an article that a friend shared on social media, about a lot of people connecting with characters in such a way. It gave me that confidence to know that I really wasn’t all that different. In fact, I felt really great about myself once more.
Not that I ever needed acceptance, but it took me a long time to realize that.
To me, it doesn’t matter if you think you can see them, hear them, talk to your characters…or whatever it is that you believe. As long as the process works for you, then don’t let anyone else tell you any different.
Sure, we may be only connecting to our imagination and not real people, but we’ve breathed so much life into these characters that they feel to us like they stand on their own. That certainly can’t hurt as you work on their stories. In fact, it will help immensely from your characters all sounding the same and the world painted the same.
That realization has saved me. I’m excited to write once more. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks or if they think I’m doing things wrong. I am doing what works for me and that means everything.
Until next time, remember to L.O.L. (Live it, Own it, Love it) or it isn’t worth doing.